Thursday, July 1, 2010

The world choose to turn its back to me, then let me turn the world upside down!

I'm depressed. Nothing, just depressed.

Tears dropped as if I no longer in control of my own eyes, nor my mind. I'm disappointed, again.
For years I waited, I waited upon empty promises, I waited upon empty promises made by the one I used to trust and look upon as my lead examples, the one I used to admired and set as my idol, the one who was once the ultimate, the ruler of all and nothing was impossible to him; yet he failed me, with his empty promises.

I'm disappointed, greatly distressed to find out all these while I had been waiting for nothing, nothing more than mere lies and empty promises. Fourteen years, fourteen birthdays, fourteen new years I told myself it will be soon fulfilled, and we shall live together as a happy family. Now that I realise things can never be the same again, things will never be the same when he took us away from our happy place, our home, and things had never be the same ever.

It was from the very same great man I learnt the way of the world, I learnt the way to swim thorough the valley of dangers, flatters, deceit, and now one of the most important lesson ever, mercy brings nothing but disappointment.

I had been merciful, have been merciful but this world is far more greedy than what I thought I had learnt about; merciful brought me destruction at one point of time yet I manage to get up and continue my journey; mercy showed was then returned with vagueness and cruelty. What more can this damn world asked for? What more can I expect from the little hope I once had? How long had it been I last have a proper family dinner with people I loved, people I cared and people I regard as "family"? and how much lies will I have to endure from the very same man who kept me waited more than a decade for his empty promises and now turned his back against me at my request to have all his promises done? HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO WAIT?! 10 more years? 20 years? or is it forever?!!

I'm greatly distressed. I'm depressed, I've started to lost hope upon this so call "family" who bears nothing other than games of politics, lies and flatters. For I had enough!

If being merciful broughts only destructions, then let destructions bring me pride and satisfaction!

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