Rant

不知道多久没有机会好好的睡一觉了，每次不是天气（太冷）就是蚊子（在耳边的四重唱）在不然就是课业上的压力让我夜里醒来无数次；也可能因为经常睡不好的关系竟然给刚才去做Spa的师傅讲，听了是会让人不顺心，不过他说得也不是没有道理。我除了身体机构老化以外，连皮肤和外表在近两个月里都开始出现老化的现象-皱纹。也不知道有多久身边的人没有说出真心话而是以flowery words来取悦我，希望从我身上得到些好处。难得有个见过几次面的师傅胆敢与一个只是顾客的我说道，我应该说是幸运还是碰巧？

----------我是分界线----------

很肚兰那些没有时间分配的专业人士。明明是自己约了人在特定的时候、特定的地点共商工作或课业上的问题，却在当天临时临急取消。一次、两次我可以谅解，但是差不多每次都是那样就好比你约了你女朋友去吃晚餐，然后等她到了并叫了食物后你才sms说不能去了因为有其他的业务，推不开。WTF？！既然在某天某时间有其他的业务当初就不该答应与别人的appointment。这世界有样东西叫做personal diary让你mark down你的appointments；更是有样随身带的东西叫做手机，手机里有样功能叫做calendar能够让你set alarm for reminders。“不记得”和“忘记”并不是合理的借口，because both words are not part of professionalism。

我不出声讲你是因为我尊敬你但并不表示我会考虑与你长期的合作下去，因为我不需要一个不专业的专业人士。You can be late for all your private functions, but don't try to bring that habit into social meetings; and too bad, we may live in Malaysia, but I don't apply typical Malaysians' bad habit into any of my formal social activities.

乖乖、怪怪的Halloween

今年的Halloween，我很乖，特别的乖，乖乖的呆在家里。做么将乖？Neh，因为考试还没有考完咯，没有考完就不能够出去玩咯，不能够出去玩就只能够呆在家里玩咯。*是不是很扎到下咧~ wakaka*

讲是讲在家里玩，也不就是上上网，看看戏咯。有看戏当然少不了爆米花啦，可是为了一个爆米花特地驾车出去买，在途中还要stuck在traffic jam里面就很鬼死废的，结果阿结果竟然给Hairyface想到自己弄，讲讲下竟然站的动手去弄。*真的是给他扎到够力下*

本来呢，那个Hairyface说呢，弄这个爆米花只需要几分钟的时间，既然只需要几分钟的时间，那我就等咯；哪里知道他所谓的几分钟不是我想象中的几分钟。那个家伙一弄就弄超过一个小时，一部文艺戏剧就这样接近尾声了都还没见到爆米花的踪影。=.=|||好奇心之下就去厨房看看到底那“几分钟的爆米花”弄得怎么样了。。。结果看见的是这样子的东西0_0

第一回合：卖相不好+底部烧焦了的爆米花（结果拿来喂垃圾桶了）

然后那个家伙又不死心wor，死都要再弄多一次他那“几分钟的爆米花”。Ok lor，既然他肯弄我就慢慢等（反正还有很多我想看的文艺片还没看），也顺便要了杯冰奶茶。另外一小时过去后那传说中的“几分钟的爆米花”终于出现了。。。

第二回合：卖相平平但味道不错的爆米花

爆米花终于出现了，味道不错下的，只是白白色的，不太好看。不过咧，到现在为止我还不知道做什么外面卖的爆米花用手拿了几次就会粘粘的，而这个爆米花却不会。。谁可以为我解答这个谜题？

然后阿然后那个家伙不知道是对我的文艺片不感兴趣还是（终于）想起了我要的奶茶，贼头贼脑的（再次）溜进厨房弄。不知道用了多久的时间（爆米花快吃完的时候）我要的奶茶终于出现了，但是做么不是平时喝的样子，而是三色分明的？！！*谁？！谁可以快点告诉我？！！*

奇怪的三色奶茶

吃了爆米花，喝了奇怪但味道蛮好喝的三色奶茶（最下面那层我想应该是椰糖/gula melaka吧），看了两部文艺片+一部小说后就去做猪了。幸运的是，吃喝了那些怪怪的东西，我还活着，没有lao sai也没有变僵尸，今早还能够睁开眼睛看世界（没有在睡眠中挂掉，真是谢天谢地）。原来Halloween除了在打扮上需要弄得很奇怪以外，连吃喝卖相都要怪怪的=0

Specky

Say HI to Specky

This is Specky, a new member of my family.

His story? Well,... erm, I actually bought it from a petshop near my college, he's not that lucky compared to Piggy. When I first saw him, he was placed in a dirty storage box together with few other grown- ups Syrian Hamsters ( which I believe are his siblings) waiting for their " execution" - YES, typical petshop in Malaysia ( especially Chinese, not being racist here, my observation. Correct me if I'm wrong) get rid of grown up hamsters which nobody would buy since they doesnt look cute ( without the baby feature to act cute and very skinny due to long term malnutrition thanks to irresponsible petshop owners) by pouring hot and boiling water on them.

I was planning to get a new pet, but I did not plan to get another hamster again. Somehow or rather, I was there to collect some food for my hamsters at home, specially ordered and imported from Germany, and yes, that's when I saw that terrifying scene - hamsters in dirty storage box, awaiting for their death! I have no idea why I stop and look at them, something is appealing to me, it is something about him that attracted my attention, then I decided to get him - Specky I named it.

The shop owner tried to persuade me in getting younger hamster's pups in the display aquarium, reason - those youngs look much cuter and healthier. Yeah, I know they are much cuter compared to these malnutrition grown ups, awaiting for their very own death as time past - the kettle with boiling water near the counter. I'm afraid I couldn't do much to save all of them, some of them were suffering from skin infections and mites due to the poor condition they lived in ( or once lived in). I picked Specky. I was told that he ( and his siblings) had been there for more than 2 months and they are the remainders of their batch - nobody buy them because they doesn't have nice and matching coat.

" They look more like a rat than hamsters, that's why nobody buy them. I have to get rid of them or else I won't be able to make any profit, I can't keep them here forever, knowing the fact that customers will never buy them. Food and bedding pile up my operation cost." The shop owner told me. While waiting for the lady to find me something, a paper box maybe, to place Specky in so that I can take him home with me, one of the worker there told me that they actually put down a lot of animals at least once a month, especially hamsters and guinea pigs.

Specky trying to be Tarzan

Knowing very well that it's hopeless to educate these money- minded human on the value and equality of life, I proposed to the sweet looking lady to put those animals up for adoption, or maybe sell it off at dirt cheap price - at least give them a chance to have a home; the owner smile and said nothing, even when I offered to bare the cost of food, bedding and medical expenses until someone with a kind heart pick them up and give them a home. There are many animal lovers out there who actually prefer to adopt than to buy pets - if there's a market demand, they'll be irresponsible breeders supplying pups and youngs to petshops, thus resulting those who left behind in the petshop will be put down, usually by pouring boiling hot water or hang to death.

Shouldn't we treat all life equally? Why don't they put down their own kids or babies using boiling water or hang them to death since almost everytime I visited that particular petshop, the lady would be complaining about how naughty is her own kids... yadda yadda yadda

Poor little guy must be starving. Finish half the food I pour in ( normally that amout can last for a week) and fall asleep in the food bowl while eating.

I have no idea whether I'm doing the right thing - buying him from petshop. I knew it's hopeless to save all of them, but I do hope that someday somehow, people will realise their mistake in putting money before the value of life. It's not the matter of money which I'm concern of, but buying pets from petshop is equally contributing to killing those unfortunate one, directly and indirectly. I was told I'm too late for the rest of them today, and I do hope I won't be too late for the others - STOP BUYING PETS FROM PETSHOP, GO FOR ADOPTION, GIVE THE OTHERS' A CHANCE.

A 3 months- old boy with a body size of a pup.

Specky has nothing less than any other hamsters, so does the unfortunates. He eats, sleeps, explores, play and smart. The very first day at home, he has to go through trainings which includes toilet training and hygine management, in which he manage to learn it within 24 hours ( Piggy took 2 weeks). Why buy? Give the others a chance, I believe the practice of putting down animals doesnt take place in that petshop only, that's a common practice in local petshops, and there are many more lives who deserve a chance out there.

Everyone deserve a second chance, why not them?

Too wise a man = fool in understanding words. They think too much

When I said something, people interpreted it in such a rigid way and cause misunderstanding.

Why is it so difficult for all of you to just LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND my words by interpreting it literally! Simple, plain, straight forward! Izzit really that difficult?!!

Apparently, I'm not fit to play any role in your life, so do you in mine; since it's so difficult to understand my words, then don't take the trouble to think! Thinking too much, working so hard just to interpret words spoken randomly is a total waste of time and effort, at the same time creating troubles to people around - THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL WISDOM? THE ART OF UNDERSTANDING?!! Fuck you then~

I speak the same languages everyone speak, and I talk the way I'm trained to talk. Maybe it's just me, my style, my way of conveying, but it's not your blardy business to get involve with my life, be it private or socially, I don't want to have anyone whom will try every method in interpreting my words other than what I mean. Don't make it complicated for me to communicate, or I shall make your life complicated to survive.

买卖

考试期，特别多感触。

总觉得自己没有自立的能力，很多小事情都处理不好。父母的错爱、over-protective是其中一个因素，而自己的依赖性是主要原因。人嘛，呆在comfort zone久了，就会慢慢的失去自立，然后就变得很像寄生虫那样，毫无贡献。

就好像这几年换的新电话、新电脑，本来是自己私底下计划要换的，然后从自己的零用钱和side- income那里一点一点的存，结果还没有存到足够的数目，就不知道做什么老爸会假假自己买错了新电话，用了一两天就讲不适合自己用，给了我；不然就接着公司年尾结帐，说什么买新电脑可以扣tax的钱，在上一次的PC Fair让我去选喜欢的电脑model，价钱不是问题。

其实老爸对我们三个孩子的爱我不是不知道，只是有时候在某方面的偏差让我们都觉得他偏心、特别袒护对方。而我，在三个孩子里算是最敏感的，至少我觉得自己会比哥哥弟弟敏感得多，家里或身边有什么变化对我（心理上、情绪上）的影响很大，对，我不喜欢巨大的改变，更是不喜欢陌生感。

中学毕业以后就有换相机的想法，只是那时候还没有猎视到适合的相机，也还不肯定要换普通的digital还是DSLR所以迟迟没有行动；过后也因为升学和其他方面的发展也就不了了之，另外也打算自己出钱买，所以就一直拖，等老爸买了他自己喜欢的相机以后才算。

有人说我很傻，老豆肯出钱让我花却不会把握机会，死都要让自己呕钱出来-吃自己。而我并不觉得花别人的钱是件光荣的事情，至少该花的他们provide，additional的理当自己处理。道理就好像父母生你养你供你读书和应付你基本的开销，那就是他们的责任；而好像跟朋友去旅行、吃喝玩乐、养宠物、hobby那些additional的就应该自己负责。

我跟哥哥差十万八千里，除了样貌、身材以外，性格也差很多。他比较随和，只要顺着自己安排的就什么都ok。而我就比较喜欢挑战，也可能因为这样，让家里的长辈都很头痛、担心。或许在他们眼中我是个喜欢找麻烦的家伙，吃好住好却老往外跑；肯provide给我却不要，就是要从自己的口袋拿出来。那对我是种满足，是种成就感-至少那是自己省下来、自己去投资、外面打工赚回来买的，不是伸手向父母拿钱。

我不喜欢像没能力的人低头，要领导我就要有让我服从的理由。同样的，我不喜欢没有自主能力，因为我相信我的命运是自己决定。固执？不如说自尊是不能买卖的。

失望

这几个月来心里压力很大，有时候夜里会惊醒（不是做噩梦惊醒，是自然醒），感觉上喘不过气来。

压力哪里来？不知道

考试考了那么多天，今天算是最令人失望的吧。

知道考试时候最令人心痛的是什么吗？

就是平时所读的、所联系的，自己已经背得滚瓜烂熟的topic出现在试卷里，可是却没有时间完成全部的题目。如果说是自己没有做好准备功夫，不会做的话那种就是自己该死的，可是这次的考试也不知道是幸运还是不幸，拿到试卷时的我非常兴奋因为所有自己有读到的范围都出现在试卷里，以为有机会博个好成绩，哪里知道很兴奋的去写、拼命的写，结果才完成一篇作文的时候监考官就说时间到、停笔。。。

除了自己，还只能够怪自己。

失望~

认识我的人都知道通常我的个人手机是24小时都开着的，以防朋友或亲人有紧急事件要联络，或者是知心朋友需要帮忙/找人谈心的时候有个对象可以发泄；也因 为这样有的人就是那么的不知羞耻、那么的不懂得为别人着想、那么的令人讨厌，明明知道现在正在于考试时期需要作最后冲刺和足够的休息，不但不会减少白天来 电、sms的次数，反而白天的不减，夜里（还是早上四、五、六点那种！）的更是越来越多！来电的目的呢，不是什么紧急事情，也不是什么大问题，而是想知道某某某在哪里（你当我是土地公啊？）、谁谁谁在想什么（我几时转行做别人肚子里的虫子了？），不然就是遇到小麻烦来“请教”在法律上能够怎么对付别人（如果我什么都会的话，就不需要读书了对不对？！）

有 些人就是这么欠揍，明明世界那么大，世上有那么多人、那么多事情他们不去管、不去学，偏偏就喜欢在我难得有机会回到家乡休息的那24小时里边在我耳边碎碎 念。Walao~我难得有机会回家乡看看我的公公婆婆、见见我的父亲、难得有机会跟中学时期的朋友出来见个面喝杯茶吃个包，难道就不能够让我休息吗？是不 是要把我的健康和精神都弄垮了才来说句“不好意思啊”，然后就不见人影？！我的医药费是不是你负责先？？真是的。。

回到家乡并不代表我一 定有空，我有空也未必有时间出席不必要的应酬，原因不是我看不起别人或者是认为别人配不上我，只是在ＫＬ这里呆久了，应酬多了，压力大了，自然会对这些所 谓的modern活动感到厌倦；难得有机会见自己的家人，当然是把家里的一切放在第一，外面的放第二。可是这世界就是由这种令人讨厌的家伙，他们自己晚上 有空（小地方，白天做工／上课，晚上都较空闲）就会认为全世界的人晚上一定有空的。他妈的鸡蛋糕～

You need a life, go get a life dude!

This is why I hate cat